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The pipeline of life

Today Noah goes back to rehab.

Everyone always tells me,” Well at least you can sleep better now because you know where he is.”

It’s not like that.

I always wonder when I’ll ever, if ever, stop wondering. If he’s sober a year, or six years, can I breathe then?

I don’t know.

The last time he left rehab, he left with Matt, a kid who who was 26, sober for six years, owned a house, a new truck and was engaged to be married. He lost everything.

I’m an optimist not a pessimist, so why do I think like this? I need to believe, hope, trust, say my prayers and cling to what the Universe has already shown me, that Noah has a destiny, his life saved from the pit.

“It’ll be okay.” I tell myself. My mother’s words when I was a child, passed down to my children.

I stand in the gap of the unknown. To wait. To trust. To hope.  It’s a mother’s job to be present, regardless of the outcome. To be strong and courageous, trust in the Almighty, dig deep and celebrate today.

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